This past Saturday I tested a hypothesis informed by experiences from 10 or 12 years ago -- that I do not turn heads in a gay bar.
Back when I thought I actually enjoyed going to gay bars -- ca. 1997-1998 -- I never got the impression I made an impression. Looking back on it now, I didn't have a semblance of fashion sense, my haircut wasn't much of a cut, and I probably gave off a vibe of desperation, of an introvert who desperately wants to be noticed.
I still don't have much fashion sense, but I do have a far better haircut and that vibe of desperation has been replaced with an absolute lack of caring. I've also been working out, and while I don't have the stereotypical physique so prevalent in gay magazines, I'm probably not as dumpy as I was in 1998. Given those revisions, I still thought I could walk into a gay bar, chat with Double-A and down a few drinks without attracting attention.
I was mistaken.
Our first destination was Rain, a place that didn't exist when I first moved to Austin. Within a few minutes of our acquiring drinks and setting up at a table in a corner of the back patio, the hypothesis was in trouble. I caught a guy standing by the bar looking at me. He was ... all right but a bit too well-coiffed. I pointed out to Double-A a guy who I would remotely consider talking to, and she reached the conclusion the kind of guy I like doesn't look like he's trying too hard. That would be litmus test for the rest of the night. Rain soon got packed enough that our vantage point was not very useful. So we moved on to Oilcan Harry's.
We set up on a bench in the back patio, the only places in Austin bars where smoking is allowed. I spotted a guy in a maroon polo shirt who didn't look like he was trying too hard. When I pointed him out to Double-A, she caught him looking at me. One result was not conclusive, but two definitely points to a failed hypothesis.
Double-A ran out of cigarettes, so I went to a vending machine and bought the wrong brand. On the way there, I saw the guy in the maroon polo shirt and made eye contact. Yeah, he was interested. I'll admit I was interested myself, but that was not the purpose of the evening.
As Double-A and I lit up our cigarettes, a guy came over to bum a smoke off of us. He introduced himself to me and said he would be spinning later. I made the usual noises of approval and interest. Three results? He was pretty much three sheets to the proverbial wind by then, and he put on a little show, prancing around to the music with his friends. Yeah, three results. But he was trying a bit too hard. He was the only one with the gumption to introduce himself to me, though.
After the DJ guy wandered off, Double-A pointed out a guy standing close by who was looking over his shoulder every so often. She said he wasn't looking at her. I caught one of the guy's furtive glances and confirmed a fourth result. I told Double-A, "That's exactly the kind of guy who would have ignored me 10 years ago." He had on a white shirt, and his hair was beautifully styled, an earring on one of his lobes. In other words, really, really trying too hard.
Then there was an incident of my spilling some guy's drink. I bought him a new one. I could have used that opportunity, but I didn't consider it part of the experiment. Double-A and I left shortly afterward.
That was probably the most attention I received during a night out, and I probably should not have squandered it. But I've been running on assumptions from a decade ago, and I wanted to see if they needed revising. I guess they do.
Of course, an experiment is no good if the results aren't repeatable. That most likely means a follow-up study in the future.
I would like to be a good American, really I would. But at the moment, I can only break even -- I'm paid just enough to cover the bills, feed myself and pay down debt. After that, I might be able to afford a CD. But if I want something with a price tag exceeding $50, I have to get creative with the fund allocation.
I've been trying to save money for a trip to Japan I'm taking in November, and for the most part, I've been successful. My savings account has a decent balance -- certainly not anemic like my checking account balance -- and it's incredibly hard not to touch it. Truth be told, I haven't.
Back in March, I bought some external hard drives. I paid with a credit card, then used the savings to pay what put on the credit card. Then I paid back the savings in installment. In short, I've set the precedent to use savings as a lender. I bought a new printer on my birthday, and I have to pay savings back again for that purchase.
I can't keep doing that, and yet, I'm already creating a list in my head of things I would like to get. In some cases, I really do need to upgrade a few items. But most of it is just plain old coveting.
If I didn't have such a narrow spending margin, I would be that good American and spend my way out of these economic doldrums. Instead, I'm being fashionable and scrimping. How proletariat of me.
Still, at some point I want to get ...
- A flat-screen computer monitor. This CRT model from 1998 takes up too much real estate on my desk, which is already crowded with a bunch of audio equipment.
- A desk suitable for recording. I need a second tier on which to place either the monitor speakers or the computer monitor. These kinds of desks also have slots made to house audio hardware modules, such as my compressor/limiter. It would also be nice not to have my external sound card and MIDI interface perch periously on the desk.
- A living room chair. The nicest chair in my apartment is the office chair in my studio. I would like something for the living room so that I can read. If I read on the futon, I eventually end up napping.
- A new TV. I don't care what ... just something that isn't hard to pack during a move.
- Pants to match the suit jackets I bought from Goodwill. Also, the dress pants I have right now are for size 38 waist, and I'm down to size 36. (More likely size 34, but I haven't shopped for any new pants to confirm.)
- Adobe Flex Builder. I've been experimenting with Flex for the past week as a career preservation tactic. I've hit a wall with LAMP stack web development the same way I did with front-end content production back in 1998. I should probably work more with JAVA to demonstrate some enterprise-level skill, but I think Flex and Flash development might be more applicable to what I do with Eponymous 4.
- More string quartet scores. I need to do some homework before I can tackle another string quartet.
- Celemony Melodyne plug-in. I've managed to do some convincing work with the V-Vocal plug-in in Cakewalk SONAR, but that interface can get tedious. It's been mostly stable for the last few work sessions, but when SONAR crashes, it's usually because I'm working with V-Vocal.
- iZotope Ozone mastering plug-in suite. I like the Mastering Bundle that came with Sony Sound Forge, that I wouldn't mind being able to use it within SONAR.
- Various software upgrades. I could justify these as business expenses, because these programs figure signficiantly in my work flow. To wit: Ableton Live 8, Adobe Photoshop CS4, Propellerhead Reason 4, Microsoft Office 2007. I'm still using Office 2000.
I will be very impressed if I manage to acquire the items on this list without going fiscally belly up.
